Christina here. Technically, I’m writing this blog at 1:26am but you all won’t see it until later this morning. I’ve been counting down this day and trying to calm some anxious feelings I’ve been experiencing. I’ve had these feelings because today I have surgery. Not just any surgery. I have wondered if I would discuss what exact type of surgery and I thought to myself, “why is everything so private?” So let me help my conscious and some fellow sisters who may be going through this, today or in the future, out. I’m having a bilateral mastectomy today. Yep, that’s right folks. I’m letting go of my girls.
For as long as I have remembered, I have been a part of the big titty committee. As many know, black girls are hitting puberty at much earlier ages – blame the food, environment, chemicals, all of that. And since that time, I’ve been kind of curvy (although I admit, looking back at old photos I look like a skinny Minnie compared to now). Well, my body is trying to fight me so the girls gots to go. If they can’t follow the rules of my house, they can go elsewhere. I have loved them but they can’t stay here.
You may be wondering, “do you have cancer in both breasts” or, “are you BRCA positive?” Nope. I do not have cancer in both breasts and I am not BRCA positive. With that said, there are a lot of unknowns still in the world of genetics and causation, so it is my hope that this surgery will not only remove what cancer I do have and help with determining the stage of my cancer, but also give me some psychological peace of mind. My oncologists and I discussed my options in detail. “Be closely watched” or “be less closely watched.” I’m a 24 year old woman with dreams and plenty of life to live…I took “less closely watched” for 500, Alex. Additionally, when we consider peace of mind and psychological wellbeing, I’m not just getting rid of my girls, I’m replacing them. That’s a story for another day.
Anywho, I’m scheduled to be at UNC at 6:30am. I’m super, duper thankful that I’m able to receive my healthcare with UNC and thus far my experience has been wonderful considering the circumstances. I’ve even caught a few Pokemon around the hospital’s campus, lol.
In terms of my surgery today, yeah, I’m kind of nervous. I’ve had quite a few outpatient operations over the years but this is my first major surgery. My first overnight stay in the hospital since I was a baby and my mama had me. At the same time, I know that God’s got me, my ancestors got me, and I got plenty of fight.
And just like I got plenty of fight, my stomach is hungry and fighting me to go get something out of the kitchen. Unfortunately, as of 12am I cannot eat until after my surgery. I tried to eat as much as possible like the chipmunk in the photo and I’m still hungry. Like a grandma’s cure for everything (a nap), it must mean it’s time for bed so let me bid you all adieu.
Oh, and before I forget. Peep my socks that I have officially designated as the pair I’m going to kick breast cancer’s butt in. 🙂
Twizzlers and Truths,
PS…One of my absolute favorite songs is Alanis Morrissette’s Hand in My Pocket. Check it out. 🙂