It’s been a while since my last post. After many promises of posting, here it is. I’ve been pondering what I would talk about for many weeks. My trip to the mountains, BCA events, finishing up my chemotherapy, self-esteem, or fatigue. After reading an email from a professor, I choose to talk about kindness to self.
I’ve been away from work for months now. My health team was concerned I would be restless without work and my daily schedule. At the same time, they also knew of many patients who worked while going through treatment and were miserable. To the best of my ability, I was not going to let either of those situations be a part of my story. I took leave to take care and be kind to myself.
For many years, I’ve done what I hope is best for others. Intention means a lot to me and in the process, I can sacrifice myself in the process. A lot of us do that, don’t we (especially educators)? Over the years, I’ve stopped being kind to myself. I’ve formed eating habits that I don’t like. I’ve stopped working out and dancing. My communication with people I care about the most has fallen off. Letting stuff irritate me that I usually can brush off. Not being kind to myself.
That is changing.
As I continue to overcome the fatigue that has persisted throughout and after my chemotherapy, I am working on myself so that as I get better, I can work on all the things that are waiting for me. I’ve gotten back control of my appetite. I’ve increased my walking. I’m being present. I’m returning to my old, old self. I’m happy with my progress. I’m well on my way to #25by25 (thanks to all my sistas who gave me the idea, you know who you are, haha ). This has been the happiest/most thankful I’ve been in a while because I’ve seen my lowest, and I know there are beautiful heights waiting ahead.
As we go further into the holiday season, I’ll be starting my radiation treatment. I’ll remember the words of my graduate professor’s email to me, “take your time, be kind to yourself.” I’ll be sure to eat well, exercise well, and heal well.
I’ll be kind to myself. I hope you’ll be kind to you, too.
Twizzlers and truths,
PS, I’ll be posting more frequently over the course of the next month. Lots to talk about as I approach my 25th birthday. 🙂